Monday, August 10, 2015

Procrastination Feelings

My apologies. I've been quite absent because of this cooling off period after being busy for my life. Sometimes you get the ball rolling in life, and when you finally get to rest for a little, the moss begins to grow on that once rolling stone. That's what happened.

Bekah and I have some exciting news!!

I guess the fact that school is this daunting figure in the fog isn't helping.
I have to face the do-nothing feeling of procrastination that has engulfed me lately.
But to be honest, I'm kind of stuck in this rut of minimalism. And not the hipster lifestyle of living with the smallest footprint on the world. More like glorified lazyness.

It's the end of Springer crash. Combined with the end of summer. And hurting my hip. And this sudden plague of fatigue.

Basically, I need to get back on my feet. But I've been at such a loss for motivation lately.

This is just me being completely honest with you, and I hope you can accept me with all of my highs and lows.

1) I know that I will have to go to school in a drastically different environment than the one I've gotten used to at Springer. Springer was so accepting and perfect and a safe zone where you could be completely yourself. I started to take that unconditional support for granted.
2) I've literally been unable to find my glasses for the past week.
3) School starts in about a week and I've yet to complete my summer homework. (((:
4) I hurt my hip last Thursday and henceforth have been unable to work out. Which is really restless for me agh.
5) No matter what o'clock it is, I'm always down for a nap. I haven't been this lifeless since.. I don't even know. Just a sleepy composure has been what I assume for the past two weeks.
6) Very soon I will have to turn my brain back on.. And I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Recent Good Happenings In Life:
1) Great relationship with my little sister. Faith Scribbles has grown up without me noticing. And while it's sad that I feel like blinking has made me miss a tad of her childhood, I love that now she seems to be reaching the age where we can meet between our nine year age gap.
2) The RON KINDNESS GRANT Award. Bekah and I have received up to $1000 to make an Eating Disorders Awareness event happen. THAT'S SERIOUSLY EXCITING. More on that later, but watch the video below for elaboration. <3

3) We had a Thespian pre-planning meeting last Friday and I'm excited at the prospect of this growing theatre outlet at school.

So that was a load of feelings.
My self-diagnosis?

I'm getting a little discouraged because I've forgotten that it takes work to spread kindness. I have gotten accustomed to the Springer environment of perpetual acceptance... And I'm a bit disappointed that the world isn't like that. But I guess that's why God gives some of us restless hearts. Hearts that aren't comfortable with society around us being unloving. Hearts that know that "society has to change. So let's change society."

Quote from my wonderful partner in EDA crime, Bekah.

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